After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
