I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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