Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
