never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
