If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
