I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
