eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So much rum. So many feels.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
