quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
