All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
