hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
