Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
