I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
