Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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