Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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