Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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