Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
