His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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