I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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