He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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