...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
