this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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