so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
