All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
