How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
