I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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