In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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