I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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