also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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