we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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