Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
