New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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