I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
