Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
