we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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