im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
