Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
