I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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