I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
