This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
