her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
