i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
