All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
