He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
