New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
