My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
