I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i dont even know how to be here
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
