I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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