I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
