i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
