A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
