We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
