so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
