i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Mom said you looked used
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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