i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
