i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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