I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
