can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
