I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
