:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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